all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
