just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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