Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
