She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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