I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
