I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
