i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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