Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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