just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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