You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
