he thought i was a dude.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
