She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
