ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Randomize
