u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
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