Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
