He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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