So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
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Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
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