On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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