I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize