well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
