Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
