oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am spending my child support on dildos
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
