So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
