I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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