You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
