Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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