Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
