At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
