Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Two words: blizzard sex
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
