capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
