May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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