Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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