i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
