Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize