OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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