In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
