They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
