Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
50% drunk capacity currently
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Oh god it's open bar.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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