saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
