Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
