youre lurking in front of me
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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