1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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