Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize