I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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