my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
