Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
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