if you like me you must not know who I am
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize