we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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