i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
