i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
