Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
