Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize
