Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
