I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
His nipple licking is glorious
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