Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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