Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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