What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
