Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
