Where is the hickey?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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